In our My CBDiary blog series, guest blogger Kim describes her personal experiences as she tries out CBD for the first time. She uses her diary to assess whether CBD supplements can offer some relief for the sombre moods to which she has been prone for a very long time.
Part 1: CBD In Times Of Corona
Now that we finally seem to have left the winter behind us and spring has clearly arrived, we face a new and unexpected obstacle. Home isolation is here.
I don’t think I’ll need to fill anyone in on the whats and the hows. Evidently, we’ve all started working from home overnight. We can hardly leave the house any longer and many of us have to face their confinement alone. Whereas up until very recently, winter mainly seemed a challenge in terms of the usual suspects. These are social withdrawal, a lack of fresh air, too much time spent on Instagram, insufficient energy to do what you have to do and poor overall concentration – now try this (at home).
Being self-employed, I am one of those forced into the cage my home has become. Truth be told, I have a book to get published in six months’ time, so I have my work cut out for me here. Still, I no longer have my part-time teacher’s job, and writing assignments are few and far between. I used to love working in public places like quiet coffee bars and libraries. It keeps the walls from closing in on me and I like seeing life buzz along around me. My boyfriend, who still works out there in the real world, leaves early in the morning – the door closes behind him and it’s hello walls for me. Outside, I see the glorious springtime skies over a street devoid of life.
From there on out, I’m on my own. There’s no-one to notice how long I roam around the internet here. Nor will anyone know if I decide to have a bag of Bugles for lunch – even if I fill them with that chef’s hat tube cheese spread – or decide to abandon combing my hair altogether.
Don’ts For The Depressed
I Have a history of depression, and by now I know which things to avoid if I don’t want to feel miserable. Thing is, they’re exactly the type of things you start doing when you don’t feel good. Which make you feel more miserable in turn. Examples include: withdrawal, avoiding other people, not doing fun things, not moving about. In addition, your focus deteriorates and you put off work. That obviously causes work to heap up, making it look overwhelming in turn. At the same time, you’re feeling useless and disappointed with yourself due to your lack of results. As a consequence, you start to feel even worse about yourself, causing further withdrawal, and so on, and so forth.
Other limiting factors that come with depression are negative self-image and future outlook, and an overarching sense of hopelessness to match. If you want my honest opinion, the consequences of Corona seem more disastrous that the disease itself. It’s hard to fathom the sheer number of people facing financial trouble right now. A significant share of all depressions arise from shocking experiences like losing one’s job, when one’s position in life and in society are called into question. The fact that we’re social animals only makes it worse.
All Alone, All Together
Right. Tough times ahead for all of us, then. From my personal perspective, I recognise my current situation as a ‘trigger’ to start feeling bad and washed-out, losing my productivity as I go. Fact is, you don’t need a history of depression to be familiar with that feeling. No matter how you look at it, human beings simply aren’t meant for isolation, financial problems and a killer virus on the loose.
Still, this situation demands that we try to drag every last ounce of discipline and energy out of ourselves by the heels. The good news is: we’re all together in being all alone here.
To some extent, we’re all facing the same challenges in the weeks ahead. That includes making it through in the best possible mental and physical shape, as productively as we can manage. That’s markedly different from turning into 2020’s new top-heavy, depressed Tiktok expert. Let’s find out if a bit of CBD can help.